“I wasn’t doing OK,” she admitted on a recent episode of her podcast.
Nikki Bella welcomed a little boy, Matteo, with fiancé Artem Chigvintsev of “Dancing with the Stars” fame two months ago.
While her newborn brought so much joy to Bella, the former pro wrestler revealed that she struggled with postpartum depression.
On the new The Bellas Podcast episode that aired Wednesday, she and sister Brie Bella discussed the “baby blues” that many moms experience after birth.
When Nikki’s fiancé started filming “Dancing with the Stars,” the stress of packing up her house in Phoenix while filming “Total Bellas” led to a “massive breakdown.”
“I’ve always prided myself that I can fight a lot of things mentally. I’m very strong in that way,” the former pro wrestler confessed to her twin. “Postpartum has knocked me on my [butt]. This is something that is way different.”
Bella, 36, admitted her breakdown was made worse by her refusing to ask for help, noting that her sister was the “first person who asked me in weeks ‘How are you doing?'”
“I was about to say, ‘Fine,’ and my lips started shaking and I burst into alligator tears. Like, I broke down,” Bella continued. “I wasn’t doing OK.”
She then explained that, after seeing her doctor, she was told new moms can become depressed seven weeks after childbirth, adding that her postpartum depression was a “dark, deep hole” that made her “feel invisible.”
Nikki confided to her fiancé shortly after, to which Chigvintsev told her how devastated he was that she “was feeling all these things” and didn’t tell him.
Bella says their heart to heart led to them improving their communication and making sure they were on the same page when caring for their son.
The “Total Bellas” stars then advocated for mothers grappling with postpartum depression to reach out and ask for help.