Personal trainer hasn’t worked out details of being a grown-up

The manager at the gym fired me for fighting. I think it was wrong of…

Personal trainer hasn’t worked out details of being a grown-up

The manager at the gym fired me for fighting. I think it was wrong of the manager to do that, as I was only defending myself.

Now I’m wondering how to get my job back. I talked to my lady friend and she told me her husband is home in bed with a couple of broken ribs and a headache. He couldn’t go to work today.

How can I get my job back?


A. “My mom is furious” is a sign that you aren’t grown up enough to shoulder the burden of being a true badass. I hope you wise up.

I think you are very lucky that you weren’t arrested for assault. Your manager was justified in firing you. Your behavior put this business (and other patrons) at great risk.

I would not want to attend a gym where a trainer regularly hooked up with a married patron and then beat that person’s husband to unconsciousness — right there in the gym. You obviously take no responsibility for your actions and how they contributed to the outcome.

Q. I always assumed that my hairstylist of many years and I didn’t see eye to eye on most political issues, but we kept our talk to personal lives and movies and TV shows.

She’s a genuinely nice person and I’m certain she’s kind to everyone. However, on social media she attacked a politician I truly admire.

I just can’t go back to her as if nothing happened. I just can’t go back at all.

Should I ghost her, or should I tell her that I’m switching stylists, and why? I don’t really want to make her feel bad, because she’s not a bad person. We just disagree.


A. You seem to like this hairstylist very much. You acknowledge that she is a good person and is kind to everyone. I assume that she is good at her job.

You say that she “attacked” this politician on social media, but you don’t mention any other details regarding this attack. Did she use foul language? Was this attack personal, untrue, or deliberately offensive? Did you respond to her post, expressing your own views and urging her to reconsider hers?

What you seem to be saying is that you cannot patronize the business of someone who openly opposes the politician that you like.

You have the right to patronize any business you want. You don’t need to explain your departure, unless she contacts you for a follow-up appointment and asks why you aren’t continuing your business with her.

If you do decide to explain yourself, you could say, “I am so sensitive that I simply cannot tolerate the fact that you don’t like my favorite politician, and that you’ve expressed your view publicly. My scalp and follicles simply won’t stand for it, so I’ve decided to take my business elsewhere.

Q. After ending a long and unhappy marriage, I met the love of my life. We spent the first four years enjoying the freedom of two empty-nesters with comfortable incomes and few obligations outside of work. However, we shared a sense of loss that we’re beyond the child-bearing years and would never raise a child together. That’s when the idea to foster a teen occurred to us.

Amy, it has been an amazing experience! We get to share our home, wisdom, and resources with our foster son while experiencing the joys and challenges of child-rearing together.

He is transforming into a wonderful young man before our eyes.

Please encourage others to consider this choice. The rewards are immeasurable.


A. Your letter makes my day. I hope your generosity inspires readers to consider becoming foster parents.

The National Foster Parents Association has a very helpful list of requirements and resources for prospective foster parents. Check

Amy Dickinson can be reached at [email protected].

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